fighting inertia

I have never had a great love of sports...frankly, some sports I could just never get, and others I enjoyed but never felt I was competitive. As a missionary, I dreaded PE in the MTC with the inevitable basketball game, a sport that had never been of much importance where I was from and so about which I knew nothing but which my district knew everything about and which they played with total aggressive abandon.

Not much has changed over the years. Except that, after spending about 15 years at a steady weight of about 125 to 130 pounds (yes, I was thin), I hit my early 30s and started to gain weight. First 140, then 145, then 150, and eventually above 160, which meant a really big pot around the middle (and not much new fat anywhere else).

I have had a love/hate relationship with my body. I never liked being short and thin, and I certainly don't like being short and fat. I have always wanted to be goodlooking, to be attractive, and sometimes feel that I am, but other times I sure don't feel pretty. I have told myself that I should do something about my shape, and exercise, but "mind over mattress" never seems to work.

However, I finally did something which will leave with me no more excuse. I went ought and bought a home gym. It is going to be delivered tomorrow night, and I can't wait. It is a big investment, but if this finally gets me off my butt and doing something to change my body, it is worth it after cent. I hope that I can keep at it and not give up when things don't improve right away. At least, the guilt of knowing that the thing is there waiting for me should help to motivate me.

And, who knows, maybe a miracle will happen and I will find out that I gain some decent muscle and look terrific as a result...it sure would be great, a real boost to my self-confidence. And maybe some of those cute guys I wish would notice me will take a look and like what they see...

Wish me luck.